Crazy for You
by erf10722
Summary: The asylum is for crazy people, and so it's only fitting that Dean Winchester, who has one of the most severe brain damages in that time-he loves other men. Everyone has given up on him. Or at least,everyone had given up on him until Castiel Novak, a doctor who specializes in helping people with this disorder takes a special interest in helping Dean.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again! This is a Destiel, although there will be minimal fluff...I don't do fluff. Kind of angsty, but I hope you enjoy anyway! This is just the prolog. Dean and Sam will be introduced in future chapters.**

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**_Prolog_**

The institute was named "Gateway to Heaven," although the locals knew it as "The Hell Hole." It sat a top the largest hill the the smallest town in Kansas.

The hill was actually a landfill covered in grass (as anyone who has bee to Kansas knows, Kansas monotonously flat and just about the most dull state in the country.) The landfill had been dubbed "Unsanitary for human inhabitants" in the spring of 1954 when the trash had seeped into the water supply, effectively killing half the population of a small amish community (albeit, that was only 20 people.)

Five years after the closure of the area, Peter Houston (who was running away from a murder charge in Lawrence) built the log cabin that would one day become the execution chamber for "Gateway to Heaven.

Houston, (a madman in a family of madmen in a town of madmen) was quickly losing money, and so, under the alias of "William Colgate," he built "Gateway to Heaven" in 1960.

The business would most likely have been a failure if not for rising tensions in Vietnam. Veterans who had been completely driven mad by war (and didn't have the money to pay for actual mental help) came in floods, as well as men attempting to avoid the draft by claiming mental insecurities.

Soon enough, with a fake psychiatric degree and a supply of cheap drugs, Gateway to Heaven was officially and effectively ruining lives and creating prescription drug addicts.

Colgate had a population of only about two hundred. In fact, the town didn't have a large enough population to be considered a town, but no surrounding towns wanted to be associated with such a town as Colgate.

Of the two hundred people who occupied Colgate, all of them lived in the institute. One hundred and fifty of those people were clinically insane. Permanently, with no hope of recovery. The other fifty had never been tested for insanity, although most people believed that you must be insane to want to work at "Gateway to Heaven."

There was a small collection of buildings just down the hill from The Hell Hole that had only a large bomb shelter (used less for bombs and more for lockdown drills) a hardware store (named "Bobby's" after the owner- a drunk and a cynic) and a tiny and dingy cafe, whose name had long been forgotten as the owner (Rufus) had grown too lazy to repaint the sign.

Consequently, Rufus' jaw practically hit the floor when the sane looking, trench coat clad man walked into his diner during the particularly brutal winter of 1963.

The main reason why Rufus worked in a diner in Colgate of all places was not completely coincidental. Being a black man in a primarily white and racist society limited his options, and many people who came into his restaurant refused to eat when they saw the color of Rufus' skin.

However, this man just smiled. His accent was formal, different than the midwestern drawl of most in Colgate. "Hello, sir. May I please have a cup of coffee? No cream, no sugar, please."

Rufus nodded mutely and quickly prepared the beverage, watching with curiosity as the man gulped down the scalding liquid as if it were water.

"What are you doing here?" Rufus finally blurted out, all to aware that that might not have been the most polite way to ask.

The man however, did not seem to mind being talked to that way by a black man, for which Rufus was grateful.

"I am starting my job as the mental institute, 'Gateway to Heaven.'" Rufus looked doubtfully at the small, peaceable looking man.

"That's brave of you. You cleaning? Cooking? Nursing?" The man didn't look up to being a security guard, the most common job at the institute.

"No. I'm a phycologist."

"Must not have done too well in school, to get assigned to this dump." Again, Rufus silently cursed himself for his fat mouth.

The man raised an eyebrow, but when he spoke, his tone didn't change from the deep, slow and calm cadence he had spoken with since his entrance into the cafe.

"I went to Yale for three years then transferred to Oxford for my fourth year of college and my doctorate. I was a hard working B student with a very impressive resume and entry essay." The man smiled ruefully, a far off look in his eyes, almost of reminiscence.

Rufus felt rather silly now, so he just nodded, clearing the strangers coffee cup.

"Colgate was my first choice, actually." The man continued through Rufus' silence. "This is...sort of a dream come true for me."

Rufus snorted, which turned in to a chuckle, which turned into a hearty guffaw. "Why the hell would you choose to work here? Those people are off their rockers!"

"I only work with a special type of mental patient. Colgate happens to have a very large population of them. They aren't dangerous...well, people in general are dangerous, but they aren't anymore dangerous than other people."

"What type of mental patients? By the way, what's your name? Mine's Rufus." Rufus had taken quite a liking to the stranger, and it wasn't often that someone new came to Colgate-much less someone sane.

"My name is Dr. Novak, although you may call me by my first name, Castiel."

Castiel handed rufus the money for the coffee, and stood up. "And the mental patients I specialize in," He paused for a fraction of a second, "Are homosexuals."


	2. Chapter 2

I counted myself lucky to have my own room. Of course, this arrangement was less due to fortune and more to my acting skills, as I had pretended to be more bonkers than I actually was so that I could have solitary confinement.

In one of the books I had read, the author had argued that solitary confinement is a form of torture. I didn't agree. I liked being alone with my books and my thoughts.

I used to have a brother that would visit me, but one day the visits stopped coming. A doctor that used to come about once a week and talk to me for a while, before I had thrown a fit and all doctors had given up on me, only ever coming in to give me my pills and once a year for a physical.

A nurse interrupted my thoughts. "Hey, hot stuff." She winked and me and I rolled my eyes. The nurse's name was Meg, and she was constantly flirting with me presumably as a last desperate attempt to make me like women.

So far, she had been unsuccessful.

"Hello, Meg. Little early to drug me, isn't it?" She grinned seductively at me. "Not if you don't want it to be."

I had no idea what she meant by this, so I settled for shaking his head dissuasively.

"What do you want?" Suddenly, Meg was all business

"Someone's here to see you." I perked up.

"Sam?" For a second, I let myself believe that my little brother had come back and that maybe he would check me out of here. We could go live in the city like we used to dream of like we were kids and-

"No. His name is Dr. Novak. He is a very prestigious doctor here to study fags. Get your head on straight. Help you with your 'condition.'" She sneered out the last word. Meg didn't much like me, and was more of the mind that fags should be killed rather than converted.

"Well thank goodness. But Meg," I faked concern in my voice, "Who will help you with your condition?"

"I don't have a condition!" She scoffed.

"Yes. It's called bitch-o-frenia. It's a serious condition that could put you and others in danger." It was a low blow and not my most successful comeback, although she seemed bothered by it, so I counted it as a win.

Meg left in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

The man spoke in a soft low voice. "Dean, my name is-uh...Dr. Novak." I had never heard a doctor stutter before and it somehow made him seem more human.

He sat at the foot of my bed stiffly.

"How are you today, Dean?" He finally asked.

"Well, they upped my drug prescription so that I now can't remember this morning, or the day before that, or my life before Hell, so I can't really answer. What about you, doctor? How are you today?" I asked sarcastically.

Dr. Novak did not catch on to the tone in his voice, and his smile widened. "I'm..." He seemed to be pondering the question, probably deciding if he should open up to me or not."Honestly, I'm nervous as hell. You're my first patient ever. I had everything all planned out-"

He removed a large pile of index cards from his pocket to show me. "But now all my questions sound so stupid."

I nodded. "What were you planning on asking?"

"Promise not to judge me for my failure as a phycologist?"

"Promise."

"Well," He cleared his throat. "First I was going to ask," He made a face like a king might make, regal and snotty, "'When do you think your condition began?' Then, my plan was to basically get you to open up and to become your best friend by the end of a session."

"How's that working out for you?" I asked. I decided that Dr. Novak didn't suck as much as his other doctors.

"Not well. I would hate me now. So, as we have an hour to waste, what would you like to do?"

"What, we aren't going to talk about our feelings and hug it out?" I mentally slapped himself. Hug it out. Of all the things I could say, I had to say 'Hug it out.' Now Dr. Novak would be scared of me, thinking that I was going to rape him or turn him gay or whatever.

People in this ward had been executed for less.

However, Dr. Novak just laughed. "I don't think you're the type of person to talk about your feelings. Also, you obviously have baggage, and I honestly can't stand tears."

I snorted. "A shrink who can't stand tears? That's sort of like a carpenter who's afraid of the hammer."

Dr. Novak nodded. "Also, I really hate the drugs they give you here." Indeed, his blue eyes clouded over with anger at the thought of the drugs.

I shrugged. "They aren't so bad. They make it bearable."

"No, they are the only thing in your life you care about. You couldn't go a day without them, so you pretend to be insane so you can get more drugs."

I was all ready to deny the accusation, but I decided to just laughed it off. "Well, the drugs and the solitary confinement. At least I don't have a room mate who is completely bonkers. Especially a loud one. How is one supposed to concentrate with all that noise?"

"What do you need to concentrate on, Dean?" I hesitated for a fraction of a second before I decided to confide.

"Books. Reading."

"What kind of books?" I pulled out the book he was currently reading. "Dune? You like science fiction?"

"Science fiction and mythology. Anything fake. Anything is better than real life." There was a slightly awkward pause.

"I know what you mean." Dr. Novak said quietly, looking down at his hands. "By the way, call me Castiel. I...I'm not really used to being called 'doctor.'"

"Ok, Cas." Castiel smiled at the nickname.

"So, I have some questions that I need you to answer. I'm sorry, but it's protocol and if I don't get at least some questions answered I will lose my job. But don't worry. They don't except you to open up, so you can lie if you want."

Castiel was suddenly all business, reaching into his overflowing brief case and bringing out a couple of forms. I looked skeptically at him.

"I thought you weren't even going to try to change me."

"Well, that's my job. Also, I never said I wouldn't _try._" He paused for a second, then cleared his throat. "Dean, do you want to change? Would you rather be straight than homosexual?"

I glared at him as though he were the madman. "What kind of stupid question is that? Why would I want to be a fag? Men are dicks...quite literally. And because I'm attracted to the same sex, I'm doomed to spend my life in here. It's no picnic."

"Don't use that word please."

"What, dicks?"

"No, the 'F' word."

"Fag?"

"Yes."

"Well it's what I am." Cas shook his head sadly, but didn't comment more on the subject.

"Why would you want to change?" Castiel seemed genuinly curious, rather than strictly following the protocol.

"I just told you that. I thought shrinks were supposed to be good listeners?"

"No, I just mean...I mean...you seem like a...really good person. Why do you think that your sexual orientation defines you? Is that really the most interesting part of your personality? Why should anyone else care what you do and who you do it with?"

I stared at Cas in absolute disbelief. "Cas, I've had some pretty bad shrinks, but you have got to be the worst. Your job is to make me sane, not make me delve deeper into madness."

"Well, would you rather I pound into your head that you are a disgusting creature and should just die?" Castiel was suddenly uncharacteristically angry (or at least I assumed it was uncharacteristic. I _had _just met the guy.)

He took a couple of deep breaths through his nose, and then continued. "Look, I'm just analyzing you, then I'll try to...fix you. If that's what you want."

"Why wouldn't I want that?" Castiel thought for a moment, probably thinking how he could put this in the simplest terms for me.

"Dean, are you religious?" I shrugged. Truthfully, I wasn't, but I didn't want to offend Cas.

"Well, the story goes that God made Adam and Eve. Adam first and Eve as his faithful partener."

I rolled his eyes. "Another religious fanatic. I've gone through four shrinks like this."

"Well, actually, I was going to say that that story is the biggest piece of bull shit ever created, without actually having been produced from the rectum of a cow."

I laughed in surprise, harder than I had laughed since the last time Sam had visited. Castiel smiled as well, and I was fascinated by the way that his eyes crinkled up, making them look younger.

"So, why is it bull?"

"For one, evolution. Actually, the order that god made things in the story is interestingly close to how it actually occurred. First there was a big flash called the Big Bang and our sun was created. I'm not an scientist, or at least not that kind of scientist, but somehow particles came together to form all of our nine planets and their moons and the dwarf planets and their moons. Technically, the earth then had a night, or maybe a long string of nights and days, or maybe the ocean was created then the nights, I'm not really sure. But, land followed water then the fist of the sea, although I suppose they skipped the first single cell organism, the most amazing and unique creature in space, then the animals of the land, and finally humans evolved from monkeys."

"But, everything went down hill from there. The bible then imposes their views on women, which are that they are there to assist the men and to create children, preferably boys. But what if, assuming the creation myth is true, god went "Wow! What a great idea! I just made a man! Let's make another!" And he made another one, an equal one. Then, what if God said, "Shit! I forgot to think of a way to help them reproduce. Let me make a woman and a partner for that woman, who shall also be called woman." That actually makes more sense and the entire bible would have went much more smoothly, resulting in less hate today. So, why didn't God make Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve? Because he had no fucking clue what he was doing, and what he was condemning women as the "lesser of the sexes" to for thousands of years to come. And if God really thinks this system isn't messed up, then he's an idiot, and I don't make a habit of worshipping idiots."


End file.
